Tough Love


There comes a time when you are not doing your children any favours by constantly shielding them from the reality of the world and the consequences of their actions.

That time is now.  Belle has been struggling financially since she has been separated from her partner (19 months).  This has been as a result of a combination of factors, including residual debt from the relationship, limited income, Cetrelink challenges and inconsistent child support from an unreliable ex(even though it is collected through the Child Support Agency).  But most of all it has been her own inability to face the reality of her situation and understand that expenses must be less than income or you will get into strife.

We have supported her emotionally and financially every step of the way, however, tonight I ran out of patience and think I have finally made her realise that the numbers simply don’t add up.

The Duke and I have discussed various options with her and we have started to put together a plan which will see us take on some of her debt but it will allow her to be able to live within her means (as long as she is very frugal).  The responsibility will be entirely her own rather than us propping up her finances on an ad hoc basis.

If she does this using the assured income (paid work plus Centrelink) then when she does finally get some more child support payments they will be able to be used to buy clothing requirements for the children, create an emergency fund and pay modest amounts off her debt to us.

This is not an easy task but one that has to be done.

2 thoughts on “Tough Love

  1. Yes I agree kids need to learn to take control of their finances, I taught my boys when they were young and it is instilled in them now. Some say they are too tight with their money but they know where it has gone and all their bills are paid. I am so proud of them for that :0)
    Your daughter has some residual problems that make it hard for her but with you helping I am sure she will get things under control.

  2. Not easy being a parent, is it. But even harder when we need to make our children accountable. Tough love is often necessary, and one day your daughter will thank you for it. The lessons she is hopefully learning will in turn be learnt by her daughters, so it is a case of the ripple effect. Good on you and the Duke for reaching this decision.

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