Happy New Year

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I was searching for a photo that really portrayed my feelings for the end of one year and beginning of the next.  I did not want images of alcohol or fireworks.

I found this which summed it up for me.

New Year 2016

As 2015 is washed away by the incoming tide it is time to write a fresh new date in the sand and move on.

Wishing you a peaceful and fulfilling year.

Christmas – Traditions & Expectations

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It is less than 3 weeks until Christmas and there is no doubt that it is one of the most stressful times of the year.  This is partly due to the pressure we put on ourselves as a response to the media and advertising hype that invades our lives.

The images and expectations are thrown at us every day but reach a crescendo at this time of the year.  Perfect gifts, on-trend decorating, mountains of food and joyous relationships are portrayed in all types of media.  We have been exposed to these expectations for our whole lives so we continue to burden ourselves with our quest for the ‘perfect’ Christmas.

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Then there are traditions.  The definition of this innocuous little word is:  “the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way”  Many families have traditions around Christmas and this can be a lovely touchpoint, especially for children.  It could be putting out reindeer food on Christmas Eve, hanging stockings on the end of your bed, going to Midnight Mass, viewing Christmas lights in your suburb or putting up the Christmas tree on a certain date.  All of these and many other little things are what can make Christmas special for your family.

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The problem with traditions is that they can actually be a cover for a guilt trip.  You know the scenario – “but we always have hot turkey lunch” – when you would really rather be playing cricket at the beach and eating a burger from the deli across the road.  That might be a bit extreme but it is an example of the sort of situations that arise every year in many families.

Expectations need to be modified as children grow and families take on different forms.  What is a fun activity for a 5 and 8 year old might be utterly tiresome for those same children 10 years later.  Trying to force them to conform to ‘traditions’ that you set up will only drive them away.

The addition of partners adds a whole new dimension as they have their own family and that needs to be respected, too.  In time there will be grandchildren and the whole cycle begins again.

The end result of striving for the perfect Christmas is generally less than perfect and can be downright horrible so perhaps it is time to reassess.  Set realistic goals, enjoy the moment and don’t set yourself responsible for the behaviour and happiness of others – that is their responsibility.

What is your experience?  Do you have traditions?  Are you prepared to let things go as circumstances change?

Use and Enjoy

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Even though I have decluttered quite a bit of stuff, I still have a lot of glassware and crockery in the sideboard that do not get used every day.

I recently cleaned out the drawer in the kitchen which hold the mugs and glasses.  I off-loaded some of the odd glasses from the back of the drawer which were never used as well as some plastic tumblers which were all crazed and for which we no longer have the matching jug.

I could have left the excess space but instead, I decided to add 5 coloured glasses which have been in the sideboard.

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There were once 6 of these glasses which came from my parents’ place.  I always loved them and they were for special occasions.  It would be easy to fall into that trap but I decided that since I really like them I will use them every day.  If they get broken I will not mourn, instead, I will be glad that had the opportunity to use and enjoy them.

I have not taken the time to respond to your comments on my previous post but I will do so, hopefully tomorrow.

Lives Lost

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I cannot let the day pass without a comment regarding the terrorist attacks in Paris.

My Facebook feed has been overwhelmed with posts ranging from unimaginable grief to one pointing out that Tony Abbott warned Europe last week that this would happen.  I will not dignify that nonsense with any further mention of it.

Tonight I want to share some powerful images that sum up how I feel.

2015-11-15 01And another

2015-11-15 02Finally, here is an article which sums up my concerns very clearly.  The headline says it all.

Paris Attacks Highlight Western Vulnerability, And Our Selective Grief And Outrage

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Food for Thought

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Every now and then I come across a discussion or comment (either in real life or on an internet forum) that stops me dead in my tracks.

The other day I read a comment where a teacher asked about a remark made by another teacher, that she would never eat any home-baked gift that was given to her and simply threw them out.

2015-11-14 01As if that was not enough to throw me for six, I was astounded by the robust online discussion that ensued.

Some of the issues that were raised included not buying home-made cakes from cake stalls, the hygiene standards of the kitchen, not eating anything from anyone unless you had intimate knowledge of their home and kitchen and so on.

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Do these people ever attend a function where people bring a plate of food to share?  Are their children allowed to attend birthday parties, where, heaven forbid, there may be home-made food?  What about class parties at the end of term?

2015-11-14 02I can well understand people with food allergies being unable to accept food gifts but some of the other issues just seemed over-the-top to me.

I was not alone in my response as there were others (teachers and others) who said they welcomed and appreciated the home-made baking that was made and given with love.

Then the conversation headed in another direction as to the reason for giving gifts to teachers as they are ‘only doing their job’ and get paid like every other employee in any line of work.

Am I naive?  What do you think?  I am particularly interested to hear from teachers as well as parents who have given home-baked gifts.  Will this revelation change your plans for Christmas gifts?

Digital Declutter

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Today I had a clean-up on the computer, most specifically, emails.

2015-10-30 01Our regular email address is with gmail and we also run one through Outlook.  I have been trying to unsubscribe from several sites which regularly dump emails in my Inbox as well as deleting ones that are no longer required but clearly that strategy was not working terribly well as in the category of “All Mail” there were 4,443 items!!  It was time to get ruthless so GMan and I set to work.  “All Mail” now contains 273 emails – a reduction of 4,130.  This will be further reduced in a couple of weeks as I am holding quite a number of emails until after we have been to Adelaide for the memorial service.

The Outlook mail was a much smaller bundle but it is now down to less than 50 items.

As always, one thing leads to another and I have also sorted/deleted/filed the bookmarks and downloads as well as our documents on the computer.

However, before you start thinking how virtuous I am, let me remind you that the photos are still a huge work in progress along with dreams of cataloging the music.  They are still ‘one day’ projects.

Just like physical decluttering, my efforts today make me feel much better.

Can It Get Any Worse?

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WARNING:  This post is a political piece which contains my personal opinions.

Remember my embarrassment over our then Prime Minister’s speech at the G20 meeting less than 12 months ago?  I wrote my thoughts here.

Then there was my relief as he was replaced as leader of our country a little over a month ago in this post.

But Tony Abbott has bobbed up again on the other side of the world to hold Australia up as a shining example of how to handle one of the largest humanitarian crises the world has witnessed.

2015-10-28 01Here is what he said:

Transcript of former prime minister Tony Abbott’s address to the Second Annual Margaret Thatcher Lecture in London on October 27, 2015.

I am both honoured and humbled to give this lecture in memory of Margaret Thatcher, who revived the “great” in Great Britain and whose leadership was the gold standard to which so many others have subsequently aspired.

But unlike you, we have at least solved one of the wicked problems now afflicting Europe: we have secured our own borders

She was, indeed, the longest serving British prime minister since Walpole; but she was so much more than just an election-winner.
Former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher.

A “mind-the-shop” conservative she most emphatically was not. She didn’t just respond to events; she shaped them; and, in so doing, she changed Britain and she changed the world.

It’s true that the world she helped to create: of rising prosperity almost everywhere driven by freer markets; of declining international tension under benign American leadership; and of increasing democratic pluralism inspired by the collapse of communism, now seems a fading dream – but we, her admirers, are here to improve things not to lament them.

Obviously, the defeat of Stephen Harper’s government in Canada is a bitter blow – but he changed his country for the better and he proved that conservatives can win elections not once but three times running.

In this audience, some may be disappointed that my own prime ministership in Australia lasted two years after removing Labor from office – but as Lord Melbourne is supposed to have said “to be the Queen’s first minister (even) for three months is a damn fine thing”.

Set against the decisive victory of the Cameron government here – helped by Lynton Crosby – and John Key’s third straight win in New Zealand, recent developments are hardly the eclipse of conservatism, more the ebb and flow of politics.

The lesson of Margaret Thatcher’s life is that strong leaders can make a difference; that what’s impossible today may be almost inevitable tomorrow; and that optimism is always justified while good people are prepared to “have a go”, as we say in Australia.

I was a student, at Oxford, at the time of the Falklands War. I recall the shock Britons felt at the Argentine invasion and their visceral determination to reverse it. I remember thrilling to Enoch Powell’s parliamentary admonition that, by her response, the “iron lady’s” true mettle would soon be judged – because I sensed that she would not let us down.

And I now know, courtesy of Charles Moore’s splendid biography, how the response could so easily have been hand-wringing and impotent appeals to the United Nations had Mrs T not seized upon a military plan brought to her by a relatively junior officer.

That was the essence of her greatness: on the things that mattered, she refused to believe that nothing could be done and would work relentlessly to set things right.

She believed in Britain – in its history, in its institutions and in its values – and, by acting on her beliefs, she helped others to believe as well.

She refused to accept the post-war consensus that Britain’s great days were over. She instinctively rejected government-knows-best approaches to running the economy and to managing society. And she was convinced that the world was more likely to prosper if Britain was a serious country with a global role rather than just another province in the united states of Europe.

She inherited a Britain that was in rapid economic and strategic decline; and left it the most dynamic economy in Europe, and the United States’ principal global ally.

On Soviet missiles aimed at Europe, she didn’t see nuclear annihilation to be averted at all cost but an evil empire to be shown that aggression would not pay. On the Falklands, she did not see an Argentine grievance to be negotiated but a monstrous violation of British sovereignty. On council houses, she did not see a government service but a neglected asset that would better be looked after by owner-occupiers taking pride in their own homes.

She didn’t see unions protecting workers so much as bullying their employers into bankruptcy. She didn’t see state-owned enterprises as “national champions” so much as an endless burden on taxpayers.

There was a moral dimension and an intellectual clarity that made her a hero to liberal-conservatives everywhere, rather than simply another successful politician. To Thatcher, the prime ministership wasn’t about holding office; it was about getting things done. It wasn’t about achieving consensus; it was about doing the right thing.

It’s usually presumptuous to invoke the glorious dead in support of current policy – but your invitation to give this lecture suggests there was at least a hint of Thatcher about my government in Australia: stopping the flow of illegal immigrant boats because a country that can’t control its borders starts to lose control of itself; the repeal of the carbon tax that was socialism masquerading as environmentalism; budget repair so that within five years, the Australian government will once again be living within its means; the free trade agreements with our biggest markets to increase competition and make it fairer; the royal commission into corrupt union bosses; an even stronger alliance with the United States and a readiness to call out Russia for the shooting down of a civilian airliner.

But, like all driven people, Margaret Thatcher was more interested in the next problem than the last one. Today, we best honour her life and legacy by bringing the same tough-mindedness to the problems of our time that she brought to the problems of hers.

Parliamentary democracy and the rule of law; “freedom broadening slowly down from precedent to precedent”; the notion of civilisation as a trust between the living, the dead and the yet-to-be-born: this was the heritage she’d been elected to preserve and strengthen.

Her focus – were she still with us – would be the things of most consequence: managing the nationchanging, culture-shifting population transfers now impacting on Europe; winning the fight in Syria and Iraq which is helping to drive them; and asserting Western civilisation against the challenge of militant Islam.

Naturally, the safety and prosperity that exists almost uniquely in Western countries is an irresistible magnet. These blessings are not the accidents of history but the product of values painstakingly discerned and refined, and of practices carefully cultivated and reinforced over hundreds of years.

Implicitly or explicitly, the imperative to “love your neighbour as you love yourself” is at the heart of every Western polity. It expresses itself in laws protecting workers, in strong social security safety nets, and in the readiness to take in refugees. It’s what makes us decent and humane countries as well as prosperous ones, but – right now – this wholesome instinct is leading much of Europe into catastrophic error.

All countries that say “anyone who gets here can stay here” are now in peril, given the scale of the population movements that are starting to be seen. There are tens – perhaps hundreds – of millions of people, living in poverty and danger who might readily seek to enter a Western country if the opportunity is there.

Who could blame them? Yet no country or continent can open its borders to all comers without fundamentally weakening itself. This is the risk that the countries of Europe now run through misguided altruism.

On a somewhat smaller scale, Australia has faced the same predicament and overcome it. The first wave of illegal arrivals to Australia peaked at 4000 people a year, back in 2001, before the Howard government first stopped the boats: by processing illegal arrivals offshore; by denying them permanent residency; and in a handful of cases, by turning illegal immigrant boats back to Indonesia.

The second wave of illegal boat people was running at the rate of 50,000 a year – and rising fast – by July 2013, when the Rudd government belatedly reversed its opposition to offshore processing; and then my government started turning boats around, even using orange lifeboats when people smugglers deliberately scuttled their vessels.

It’s now 18 months since a single illegal boat has made it to Australia. The immigration detention centres have-all-but-closed; budget costs peaking at $4 billion a year have ended; and – best of all – there are no more deaths at sea. That’s why stopping the boats and restoring border security is the only truly compassionate thing to do.

Because Australia once more has secure borders and because it’s the Australian government rather than people smugglers that now controls our refugee intake, there was massive public support for my government’s decision, just last month, to resettle 12,000 members of persecuted minorities from the Syrian conflict – per capita, the biggest resettlement contribution that any country has made.

Now, while prime minister, I was loath to give public advice to other countries whose situations are different; but because people smuggling is a global problem, and because Australia is the only country that has successfully defeated it – twice, under conservative governments – our experience should be studied.

In Europe, as with Australia, people claiming asylum – invariably – have crossed not one border but many; and are no longer fleeing in fear but are contracting in hope with people smugglers. However desperate, almost by definition, they are economic migrants because they had already escaped persecution when they decided to move again.

Our moral obligation is to receive people fleeing for their lives. It’s not to provide permanent residency to anyone and everyone who would rather live in a prosperous Western country than their own. That’s why the countries of Europe, while absolutely obliged to support the countries neighbouring the Syrian conflict, are more-than-entitled to control their borders against those who are no longer fleeing a conflict but seeking a better life.

This means turning boats around, for people coming by sea. It means denying entry at the border, for people with no legal right to come; and it means establishing camps for people who currently have nowhere to go.

It will require some force; it will require massive logistics and expense; it will gnaw at our consciences – yet it is the only way to prevent a tide of humanity surging through Europe and quite possibly changing it forever.

We are rediscovering the hard way that justice tempered by mercy is an exacting ideal as too much mercy for some necessarily undermines justice for all.

The Australian experience proves that the only way to dissuade people seeking to come from afar is not to let them in. Working with other countries and with international agencies is important but the only way to stop people trying to gain entry is firmly and unambiguously to deny it – out of the moral duty to protect one’s own people and to stamp out people smuggling.

So it’s good that Europe has now deployed naval vessels to intercept people smuggling boats in the Mediterranean – but as long as they’re taking passengers aboard rather than turning boats around and sending them back, it’s a facilitator rather than a deterrent.

Some years ago, before the Syrian conflict escalated; extended into Iraq; and metastasised into the ungoverned spaces of Libya, Yemen, Nigeria and Afghanistan, I got into trouble for urging caution in a fight that was “baddies versus baddies”.

Now that a quarter of a million people have been killed, seven million people are internally displaced and four million people are destitute outside its borders and considering coming to Europe, the Syrian conflict is too big and too ramifying not to be everyone’s problem.

The rise of Daesh has turned it into a fight between bad and worse: the Assad regime whose brutality is the Islamic State death cult’s chief local recruiter; and a caliphate seeking to export its apocalyptic version of Islam right around the world.

Given the sheer scale of the horror unfolding in Syria, Iraq and everywhere Daesh gains a foothold – the beheadings, the crucifixions, the mass executions, the hurling off high buildings, the sexual slavery – and its perverse allure across the globe, it’s striking how little has been done to address this problem at its source.

The United States and its allies, including Britain and Australia, have launched airstrikes against this would-be terrorist empire. We’ve helped to contain its advance in Iraq but we haven’t defeated it because it can’t be defeated without more effective local forces on the ground.

Everyone should recoil from an escalating air campaign, perhaps with Western special forces on the ground as well as trainers, in a part of the world that’s such a witches’ brew of danger and complexity and where nothing ever has a happy ending – yet as Margaret Thatcher so clearly understood over the Falklands: those that won’t use decisive force, where needed, end up being dictated to by those who will.

Of course, no American or British or Australian parent should face bereavement in a fight far away – but what is the alternative? Leaving anywhere, even Syria, to the collective determination of Russia, Iran and Daesh should be too horrible to contemplate.

That’s why it’s a pity that the recent UN leaders’ week summit was solely about countering violent extremism – which everyone agrees involves working with Muslim communities – and not about dealing much more effectively with the caliphate that’s now the most potent inspiration for it.

Of course, the challenge of militant Islam needs more than a military solution – but people do have to be protected against potential genocide. Of course, you can’t arrest your way to social harmony – but home grown terrorism does need a strong security response. Of course, the overwhelming majority of Muslims don’t support terrorism – but many still think that death should be the punishment for apostasy. Of course, the true meaning of Islam is a matter for Muslims to resolve – but everyone has a duty to support and protect those decent, humane Muslims who accept cultural diversity.

Looking around the globe, it’s many years since problems have seemed so daunting and solutions less clear. Yet the worse the times and the higher the stakes, the less matters can be left in the too hard basket. More than ever, Western countries need the self-confidence to stand up for ourselves and for the universal decencies of mankind lest the world rapidly become a much worse place.

Like the countries of Europe, Australia struggles to come to terms with the local terrorism that Daesh has inspired. Like you, we are trying to contain Daesh from the air while waiting for a Syrian strategy to emerge. But unlike you, we have at least solved one of the wicked problems now afflicting Europe: we have secured our own borders.

All of us, then, must ponder Margaret Thatcher’s example while we wait to see who might claim her mantle. Good values, clear analysis, and a do-able plan, in our day as in hers, are the essentials of the strong leadership the world needs.

Will this man never realise what an utter fool he is?  If he is still unsure he can certainly find out by checking the trending hashtag #Tone Commandments on Twitter.  The condemnation of his speech has been swift, decisive and universal.  I add my voice.

In the first link at the top of the page I mentioned my embarrassment and the fact that Tony Abbott had made Australia a laughing-stock in the eyes of the world.  Enough is enough.  Australians must stand up and be counted and let the world know that this man does not speak for all Australians and we should make sure that he is roundly condemned and ridiculed by the global community for the appalling diatribe which he delivered today.

What to Write

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Last night I sat down with every good intention of writing and publishing a blog post.  I sat and looked at the blank screen for some time before giving up and going to bed.  My mind was devoid of inspiration.

Not a lot has changed in 24 hours but I have several ideas for blog posts now.  Tonight I want to share an editorial which I read this morning.  It is from a small local newsletter in Brisbane.  I do not normally read this publication but it was passed on to me for another reason and I happened to read this column which is a very thought-provoking piece of writing and is something that is worth passing on.

Personally SpeakingHere is the text of the article.

Our daughter is doing a gap year this year, and as part of that, is spending eight weeks in Nepal.  She had chosen Nepal way before the earthquakes hit,in fact, she bought her flights the day before the first earthquake in April.  You can imagine as parents, the prospect of her still going to Nepal after not one, but two significant disasters, was challenging to say the least!

Watching her walk under that ‘departure’ sign by herself was a very hard parenting moment.  But we did it!  Waiting to hear from her after the plane had landed that she was with staff and at the hotel was a very long two hours.  But we did it!

In the lead up to her trip, the various responses about it to us as parents has been interesting.  We’ve had people look at us like we are the most irresponsible parents in the world, others who just shake their heads heads and say they wouldn’t allow their child to do it, those who’ve just said they wouldn’t be able to do it, and those few who thought it was fantastic.

I chatted it over with a wise and wonderful friend of mine and worried that if something happened to her, and we knew we could have stopped her going, we would never forgive ourselves.  She said, “Stopping her from going would have been an abuse of your parental power.”

That gave me so much comfort in the days before her flight.  Although we probably could have talked her out of it (I think!), there is no way we should have.  Whenever we’re given the privilege of an invitation by our adult children to weigh in on their decision making, we need to be mindful that it is just that – a privilege.  We don’t have any right to say what they should do once grown.  We need to give them that unconditional love – regardless of whether that decision is going to make us uncomfortable by stressing us or causing us to worry.

We’ve already had a bit of practice with this, since our 24 year old son will never, ever have a nice safe job in an office and a house in the suburbs five doors down from us.  He has always sought a ‘unsafe’ life and has never shied away from doing ‘the hard thing’ either.  Not that he is reckless or risk-raking for the sake of it, quite the opposite.  His decisions are calculated and thoughtful.  But they are not ‘safe’ from a parental perspective.

Too often we view are children as possessions, something to be proud of and shown off to our friends.  And we are far too often worried about how their decisions affect us, rather than them.

We need to take a step back sometimes and check where we are coming from.  Are we advising them based on our fears or their best life, whatever that may look like?

Our children are not ‘ours’.  They are their own.  And the more we realise that, the more peace we will have, no matter what they decide to do or where they decide to go to do it.

What do you think?  I would love to hear your views and personal experiences.

Swap and Share

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One of the things that I constantly feel is lacking in our society today is the willingness and ability to share and co-operate with people in our wider community.

Today I headed into Maleny as I had a few things to do.  Since it is a 16km round trip I try to make sure that I make the travel worthwhile.

Before I left home I gathered up what I needed.

Some eggs to swap.

003Clothes to take to the recycle boutique where thy are sold on consignment.

001Some pieces of fabric for my sister.  She is making a costume for a school event.

002First I met up with some other keen gardeners and swapped the eggs for some worm juice.

004This can be diluted 1 :10 in water and used as fertiliser on fruit and vegetables.  My seedlings will get a boost.

Next, I headed to the recycle boutique but sadly it is closed on Thursdays.  I have left the bag of clothes in the car and will take them on Saturday.  I have also made a note to remember the opening hours in future.

Finally, I met my sister and we had a leisurely lunch at the Upfront Club.

When I came home I replaced the buttons on the sleeves of the coat that my sister gave me last week.  You can see that the buttons are not identical to the ones on the front opening, however, they tone in nicely.

005Also in the spirit of sharing, we have Air BnB guests arriving on Saturday for 3 nights so I have made up the bed in the guest room and made it ready for their arrival.

A Prime Minister

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As usual with any blog posts which deal with politics, I offer the following disclaimer.

WARNING:  This post is a political piece which contains my personal opinions.

2015-09-23This article by Meshel Laurie was written almost 2 years ago but I have only just discovered it.  It captures my feelings perfectly and I only wish that I had written it.

Will we ever have another Prime Minister who has the courage of his or her convictions and who is prepared to make decisions for the future good of Australia rather than simply eyeing off their own re-election?